"Demo Demerrier" is a ten-minute sampling of various scenes of TOSSED OFF, shot to serve as a demonstrator episode for investors, advertisers, and other well-heeled muckety-mucks. It was shot with a limited cast of seven contestants, along with Mike Tanley the show host, and utilizing a limited crew. It was also shot at the peak of one of the worst blooms of red tide in Florida's history, making the set conditions some of the most harrowing ever faced by a film crew since Coppolla's Apocalypse Now or Herzog's Fitzcarraldo.

Not kidding.

Since it's unlikely the general public will ever get to see "Demo Demerrier", have a look at some photos from the rehearsal and the shoot itself.

The Rehearsal.

Held at Bill Frederick Park in Orlando FL, the rehearsal was a one-day affair which allowed us to work the scenes and lines with the actors, in an outdoor environment approximating what they would face when filming on location. Or so we thought.

BELOW: Rehearsing the "flirt" scene between Charley and Cara. (Front row: Laura Ramos, Casey Wilson. Back row: Krystal Davis, Will Greene, Sara Marx Mitchell, Eric Larsen, Johnnie Bowls.)

BELOW: Laura Ramos as law student "Cara", alongside ice cream truck driver "Charley", played by Casey Wilson. Ain't they cute together?

BELOW: Wayne Johnson makes his first public appearance as "Mike Tanley", the sadistic, worn-out show host of Tossed Off. Think Probst on angry pills.

BELOW: Sara Marx Mitchell as beleaguered flight attendant "Joan". Will Greene sits below her, ready to play "Gator" the sports nut. Both of them look very serious because we just told them they are being paid in empty promises and shallow compliments, instead of money.

BELOW: Johnnie Bowls, who plays Todd Michael the "openly gay waiter", stands over Eric Larsen, who plays Tucker the male model. What the hell is going on here is anyone's guess.

BELOW: This shot pretty much sums up Tossed Off's production methods: glycerin, to make people look sweaty, some Fiji water for product placement, and a loaded gun, the only way to make it all go smoothly.

The Shoot

Shot on Florida's "Space Coast", what would be edited into a short ten minute sampler took over ten hours to film. Making things worse was the horrific red tide -- a poisonous algae bloom that fills the oceans and the surrounding air with spore-born toxins for miles. Red tide "fumes" causes horrible irritation of the lungs, throat and eyes, and lay a thick coating of microscopic spore-gunk on everything, including camera lenses and video monitors. To protect the cast and crew, everyone not speaking during an actual scene had to wear protective masks -- although this helped little. The stinging fumes were so bad, we had to send our sound engineer (and only boom mic operator!) to the hospital, because he was coughing up blood. Cast members struggled through long takes while their eyes reddened, their skin grew blotchy, and their throats burned.

Why did we shoot during one of Florida's worst red tide blooms in history? Because the Space Coast Film Commission didn't bother to tell the producers about it at all. We only learned about it the day before the shoot itself, when a park maintenance man told us, "You'd better get masks for everyone!" At that point, of course, it was too late to reschedule.

Way to go, Space Coast. Trick folks into filming there, health be damned. Well, that explains why we had the beach to ourselves.

Special thanks to Dave Bradley of Bradley Talent Agency, who stopped by to see how things were going and wound up having to run out to the hardware store to get us a replacement extension cord. That's how we roll at Tossed Off -- if you come within our line of sight, you get exploited, no matter your station in life. You should see what we did to the homeless guy who wandered onto our beach.

Anyway, here are some photos:

BELOW: The cast gathers at the beginning of the day, complete with OSHA approved dust masks to ward off the red tide spores. FRONT: Eric Larsen, Wayne Johnson. REAR: Johnnie Bowls, Sara Marx, Casey Wilson, Will Greene, Laura Ramos, RJ Stallman, Krystal Davis.

BELOW: The campsite for Team Flatus being set up.

BELOW: Kidnapped flight attendant "Joan" (Sara Marx, not in "Joan" costume for this shoot) hyperventilates into an air sickness bag. Probably more bad news for JetBlue.

BELOW: One of thousands of toxic waste barrels littering Pariah Island's radioactive wonderland.

BELOW: The island's rich history includes a period of carpet bombing by people who spoke German. Or maybe it's currently being carpet bombed by people who speak German?

BELOW: The beauty of Pariah Island belies the fact that the entire island could explode at any moment, taking with it parts of Japan, Turkey and Madagascar. This photos belies the toxic mist of red tide spores that poisoned us for a few days.

BELOW: Mike Tanley (Wayne Johnson) is on the set... and he's armed.

BELOW: Red tide? Shmed tide. Tanley knows no fear. Although he does dislike sprinkles on his ice cream.

BELOW: Tanley (Wayne Johnson) sneers at those who try to get a color balance off of him. No doubt, he'd rather be drinking absinthe and eating Pop Tarts.

BELOW: Birth of an icon. Wayne Johnson as "Mike Tanley".

BELOW: Pop Tarts left at home, Mike readies a very different breakfast for himself.

BELOW: Cara (Laura Ramos) talks about the previous day's "Dodge These Bullets Challenge." The first "talking head" shot of the day, hindered by the red tide "mist" that blanketed the entire area -- it was so bad, it is visible in this shot!

BELOW: America's next sweetheart, and Tossed Off's next meal: Laura Ramos as law student "Cara".

BELOW: Tanley raids Team Flatus' camp. There's a hand grenade in that baseball mitt.

BELOW: Dead human flesh -- it's what's for dinner!

BELOW: The local aboriginal people left this housewarming give for Camp Flatus.

BELOW: Sound engineering -- a lonely job, on the most hellish island on earth. This poor fella was taken to the hospital an hour later, a victim of red tide spores in the lungs. RJ Stallman -- a cast member who plays "Corinne" the housewife with multiple personality disorder -- displayed her own multiple personalities, and took over as boom operator for the rest of the day. Thanks, RJ! And get better soon, Bob!

BELOW: Readying for a scene, with dust masks on: Will Greene III as "Gator" the sports freak; Krystal Davis as "Belinda" the overconfident cheerleader; and Eric Larsen as "Tucker" the insecure male model.

BELOW: Tanley reads Nietzsche -- of course.

BELOW: Gator, Belinda and Tucker beg for water from Tanley. Gee, wonder how that turns out?

BELOW: Tossed Off "Insiders" were treated to a live webcam that allowed them to watch most of the day's activities using a grainy, poorly focused, black and white camera apparently mounted somewhere on Mars. Crappy cam notwithstanding, hardcore Tossed Off fans were delighted to see blurry dots moving around in the sand, knowing their show was coming closer to fruition. Here, Tanley (left most figure) oversees the Barbed Wire Swallow competition. Somewhere below, the Executive Producer is probably getting drunk.

BELOW: Actress RJ Stallman takes a break from playing "Corinne", the psychotic housewife with 25 personalities, and jumps into the mic boom operator role, replacing our ailing sound engineer who had to be rushed to the hospital. RJ did a hell of a job, too. What a lifesaver! Hmmm ... unless she planned that, and actually poisoned our sound guy? No... couldn't be.....

BELOW: Mike Tanley (Wayne Johnson) doles out the rewards after the "Barbed Wire Swallow". Tucker (Eric Larsen) and Joan (Sara Marx) were the "winners" -- and you guys didn't really think we'd do a Barbed Wire Swallow, did you?

BELOW: Exhausted from a grueling day of toxic gas, hot sun and humiliating dialogue, the cast gets ready to go home. The Executive Producer, ever an ass, keeps them a few minutes more just for his own egotistical purposes; in this case, a cast photo. Jerk.

Left to right: Eric Larsen ("Tucker"), RJ Stallman ("Corinne"), Laura Ramos ("Cara"), Sara Marx Mitchell ("Joan"), Christopher Paris (the asshat Executive Producer and show's creator), Johnnie Bowls ("Todd Michael"), Wayne Johnson ("Mike Tanley"), Casey Wilson ("Charley"), and Will Greene III ("Gator").

(Yes, Tucker and Joan are bloody from the Barbed Wire Swallow.)